Friday, January 29, 2010

daddy's little girl....

all through my growing years, a question i persistently aimed at my father was, "who u love more,
my sister or me?"a man of few words, his answer would be an equivocal "equally".For a man who was
known for his directness and someone you could rely on for an honest answer his reply ws nt
what i expected..... besides i always think if he cud be ma favoriate how cud he not have one..
if someone ask me who's ur favorite i always say my papa!! undoubtly bt he didnt come up wth ma expectations
as to call me his favoriate child..
year rolled and i become busy , busy n more busy in my own world.. schools, new friends, games n there were
many things which kept me so occupied that somehow i managed to believe that i dont care let him to love
my sister more, becoz whenevr we conversed ..only about the studies studies n ohh again studies
i started enjoying my own world- of my friends (at that time acc. to me they were better as i could disscuss everything which i cudn't do with
papa) !!
i soon completed 10th and left home for further studies..till then there were many inctances of insecurity,
but i managed to hold on to my believe and as there were many times when he could have said somthing
but let the moment pass..
one day while i was enjoying my vacations at home i got his diary n a paper fall down from it..
i was curious to read that becoz it was starting with my name..
dear deepa !!
...........................
i read further and that was the golden day of my life..a tear rolled on my cheeks as i come to know all
my answers.. why sometimeshe become so rude with me.. he wanted me to believe in myself,
to follow d role models like swami vivekanand kalpana chawla and not the actors who don't have their own life also...
.he wanted me to be ideal for my younger sister..
and rite from their my world started changing, my dreams become more focused as i come to know
they are not only mine there is someone who cared for them more then myself...........
" i often regrated things done according to his wish but never for the things left undone just becoz
he didn't want me to do... "

6 comments:

Soham said...

Thank you Deepa for this. Today I realize the pain I have given to my DAD. In my childhood I was busy in clearing exam... Now I’m running after money. However our DAD and MOM still waiting for one call, one hi from us. This is nothing for us...A lot for them.
"I wanna grow up once again"

bibhash jha said...

So touching .. and ur dad is so lucky to have u . I am sure parents love is unconditional ... but not many of us realize this fact .

secret admirer said...

You expect it or not, but you are always a role model for ur siblings. its a true fact that the elder one in any family is the role model for their younger ones.But the question is WHY???????????????. the answer is simple yet complicated because they have seen u struggling in life and succeeding. and they appreciate it.they have learnt the way of living,loving, sharing, caring and many more things from you only.you were their 2nd teacher after parents but still neither they nor u realize this

secret admirer said...

""what i expected..... besides i always think if he cud be ma favoriate how cud he not have one.."


nice thinking. but here the situation is different you have only one father but ur father has two daughters.TO decide who is his favourite is like deciding between the two eyes which one is better. to see both eyes are important.when both eyes work together onle then we get a percepion of depth.with one eye we see two dimensions only. but when both eyes work in harmony we see the third dimension of life. so father is in a dilemma who is better because both are better, both are individually important as well as complementary to each other. as u were disappointed to know that he didnt have a fav, ur sister or u could have been more disappointed if he had a one

vinay said...

dis is awesom yaar...nd i cam to kno dat each wrd of this blog is tru..even olso relatd to letter...u r vey lucky gal..nd more den u..ur dad is lucky..hu hve u as a daughter..
so dnt eva let him down..n giv ur level bst..
n thnx 4 ur suggstion..i wll do ma bst at ma side 4 ma family...

Chandrika Shubham said...

Very touching indeed. :)

listen to ur heart....