Friday, January 29, 2010

daddy's little girl....

all through my growing years, a question i persistently aimed at my father was, "who u love more,
my sister or me?"a man of few words, his answer would be an equivocal "equally".For a man who was
known for his directness and someone you could rely on for an honest answer his reply ws nt
what i expected..... besides i always think if he cud be ma favoriate how cud he not have one..
if someone ask me who's ur favorite i always say my papa!! undoubtly bt he didnt come up wth ma expectations
as to call me his favoriate child..
year rolled and i become busy , busy n more busy in my own world.. schools, new friends, games n there were
many things which kept me so occupied that somehow i managed to believe that i dont care let him to love
my sister more, becoz whenevr we conversed ..only about the studies studies n ohh again studies
i started enjoying my own world- of my friends (at that time acc. to me they were better as i could disscuss everything which i cudn't do with
papa) !!
i soon completed 10th and left home for further studies..till then there were many inctances of insecurity,
but i managed to hold on to my believe and as there were many times when he could have said somthing
but let the moment pass..
one day while i was enjoying my vacations at home i got his diary n a paper fall down from it..
i was curious to read that becoz it was starting with my name..
dear deepa !!
i read further and that was the golden day of my life..a tear rolled on my cheeks as i come to know all
my answers.. why sometimeshe become so rude with me.. he wanted me to believe in myself,
to follow d role models like swami vivekanand kalpana chawla and not the actors who don't have their own life also...
.he wanted me to be ideal for my younger sister..
and rite from their my world started changing, my dreams become more focused as i come to know
they are not only mine there is someone who cared for them more then myself...........
" i often regrated things done according to his wish but never for the things left undone just becoz
he didn't want me to do... "

Thursday, January 28, 2010

listen to ur heart

far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations !!! I may not reach them,
but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
their are some people in my life who showed their tremendous love, care affection n above all
belive in me that i can do very well in my life, supported me in every manner like some
of my friends n above all my father.. he always belived me as well made me to to do the same..
but It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes, and realised that their
opinions of me does not have to become my reality except my i quit being afraid when my
some of the venture failed and the sky didn't fall.. so strange !! and started to listen to my heart.. n well
till now i never find any person so ignorant that i couldn't learn somthing from him so just listen to your heart
what it wants you to do... i m still learning, still improving
and still beliving that God has gifted me with some of really special people in my life for whom
i have to do lots of things !!!!
" To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved,
but at what he aspires to.."
listen to ur heart....